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Alt 25.08.11, 06:52   Yukarı Git #1
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

Wink ''öğrenci milleti!''


Öğrenci Sözlüğü

Atmak : Ders anlatmak
Asmak : Sözlü günü yapılan gezi
Cesur : Kopya çeken kimse
Çöp Kutusu : Basket potası
Dalga Geçme : Ders dinleme
Disiplin : Öğretmenin kozu
Esnemek : Ders esnasında ortaya çıkan bulaşıcı hastalık
Felç : Karnenin alınmasıyla baş gösteren hastalık
Gardiyan : Nöbetçi öğretmen
Hastalık : Mazeret
Hayır Sever : Kopya veren
Okul : Hapishane
İnekleme : Çok ders çalışma
Karne : Loto Kuponu
Şaşkın : Yeni öğrenci
Tebeşir : Cephane
Komedi : Yazılıların açıklanması
Veli : Ara karneden bile haberi olmayan gariban
Çıkış Zili : Can kurtaran
Sözlü : Ecel teri,mizan terazisi
Not Defteri : Loto kağıdı
Öğrenci : Hilkat garibesi,zavallı
Öğretmen : Ahiret sualcisi
Sınıf : Muhabbethane
Ödev : Angarya
Sınıf Geçmek : Tahayyül
Sınıfta Kalmak : Küme düşmek
Teneffüs : Kudurma saati
Giriş Zili : Cenaze marşı
Masal : Anlatılan ders
Enflasyon : Notların öğretmen tarafından düşürülmesi
Devalüasyon : Öğretmenlerin kolay sorarak başarı oranını yükseltmeleri
Vaka-ı Vakvak : İyi bekleyip düşük alan öğrencilerin sözleri
İstenmeyen Gün : Pazartesi
İstenen Gün : Cuma
En İyi Haber : Hoca Yok, ders boş, vallaha...






''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
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Alt 25.08.11, 06:54   Yukarı Git #2
esra_02
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

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Seçme Mazaretler

İşte size işte veya okulda kullanabileceğiniz bir kaç küçük bahane
(herşey çok güzel olacak gibin oldu çaktırmayın..
Eğer o gün işe gelmediyseniz ve neden diye sorulursa şöyle diin;

-Arabamın pili bitti ve yakında sarj aleti olan kimse bulamadım(?!)

-Köpeğim ayakkabılarımı yuttu. Çıplak ayakla işe gelmek kolay olmasa gerek?Di mi?..(Bunu kışın kullanın

-Sabah evden çıkıp kapıyı kilitlerken anahtar, anahtar deliğinde kırıldı. Sabah sabah çilingirci bulamadım.Onun için de öğleye kadar beklemek zorunda kaldım.

-içimden bi ses bugün ise geç kalmamı söyledi.

-Kedim depresyon geçiriyodu.Onu yalnız bırakamadım.

-Evimin önündeki yol kazıdan dolayı kapanmıştı.Yürümeye üsendim.

-Dün akşam salata yapıyım derken parmağımı kestim.

Eğer işe geç kaldıysanız ve neden diye sorulursa o zamanda şöyle diin;

-Çalar saatimin pili bitmiş.

-Fantazi kuruyodum, uyanamamıştım.

-Dün aksam 3 saat mesai yaptığım yetmedi mi? Bu gün de geç geliim!

-Karımla tartıştım. Sonuç: iki patlak göz bi kırık kol.

-Geçici sağır oldum. Saati duymamışım.




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
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Alt 25.08.11, 06:57   Yukarı Git #3
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

Standart


ÖĞRENCİ SÖZLÜĞÜ (2)


TAŞINIR MALLAR??..: KİTAP, DEFTER KALEM

TAŞINMAZ MALLAR?.: KAPI, PENCERE, TAHTA ve SIRALAR

DİSİPLİN???????: İDAM SEHPASI

ÖĞRETMEN?????: OKULUMUZUN DEMİRBAŞI

ÖĞRENCİ??????.: OKULUMUZUN VAZGEÇİLMEZ İNCİSİ

ZİL?????????..: ÖĞRENCİNİN KURTARICISI

ARKADAŞLIK????.: İDEAL BİRLEŞME

CASUS???????.: ONUR KURULUNA SEÇİLEN ÖĞRENCİ

CEZA-İ ŞART????..: YILLIK ÖDEV

ESNAF???????..: KENDİ HALİNDE ÖĞRENCİ

MALİYET??????..: ÖĞRENCİ HARÇLIĞI

BÜTÇE???????..: TOPLANAN FOTOKOPİ, SPOR vs. PARALAR

İNEK????????..: HARIL HARIL DERS ÇALIŞAN ÖĞRENCİ

ÇALIŞKAN??????: AKLINDAN ZORU OLAN ÖĞRENCİ

YAZILI????????: HAYATIMIZI ALT ÜST EDEN KARA YAZI

HÜR TEŞEBBÜS??..: SÖZLÜDE PARMAK KALDIRAN ÖĞRENCİ

ŞİRKET???????.: SINAV ÖNCESİ KURULUP, SINAVDAN SONRA DAĞILAN ORTAKLIK.

ENFLASYON????..: KOPYA DEĞERİNİN YÜKSELMESİ

KIYMETLİ EVRAK??..: KOPYA KAĞITLARI

KOPYA???????..: DENİZDEKİ YILAN

ÇEK MAFYASI????: KOPYALARI ELİNDE BULUNDURUP DAĞITAN >>BABA<< ÖĞRENCİ

İHRACAT???????: KOPYA VERMEK

İTHALAT???????.: KOPYA ALMAK

ÖĞRENCİ AVCISI???: NÖBETÇİ ÖĞRETNMEN

KOMPLO???????: BEKLENMEDİK ?KAZIK? SORULAR

İNDİRİM???????..: KAZIK GİBİ SORULARIN UCUZLATILMASI

SADAKA???????: ÇALIŞMAYAN ÖĞRENCİYE SINAVDA VERİLEN KOPYA

CİMRİ????????..: ARKADAŞINDAN BİR SORUNUN CEVABINI ESİRGEYEN ÖĞRENCİ

ADAK?????????.: İYİ NOT ALABİLMEK İÇİN ARKADAŞA ADANAN ÇİKOLATA

GAYRİ SAFİ MİLLİ HASILAT.: YILLIK BİRİKEN KOPYA KAĞITLARI

İPOTEK??????????: ÖĞRETMENLERİN KOPYA METERİYALLERİNE EL KOYMALARI

SERBEST PİYASA EKO..: KOPYA ÇEKİLMEYEN SINAVLAR

FİRAR??????????..: DERSTEN KAYTARMA

KAZAN??????????: DERSİ KAYNATMAK İÇİN GEREKEN ARAÇ

ÇÖP ÇATAN???????.: ÖĞRENCİ İLE DERSİN ARASINI BULMAYA ÇALIŞAN ÖĞRETMEN

PARAZİT?????????.: BAŞKALARININ SIRTINDAN SINIF GEÇEN ÖĞRENCİ

DEVÜLASYON?????..: ÖĞRENCİ DEĞERİNİN DÜŞMESİ

BÜTÇE AÇIĞI???????: TEŞEKKÜR VE TAKTİRE NOTLARIN EKSİK GELMESİ.

KAR / ZARAR CETVELİ..: KARNE

DİPLOMA?????????: ÖĞRENCİYİ KOVMAK İÇİN VERİLEN KAĞIT PARÇASI

DEMOKRASİ???????: ŞARTSIZ KURUL

TRAJEDİ?????????: BECERİ SINAVI SONUÇLARI

DRAM??????????.: BECERİ SINAVINDAN ÇIKAN ÖĞRENCİNİN




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:02   Yukarı Git #4
esra_02
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

Standart


ÖĞRENCİ CEVABI

Orta iki ingilizce sınavı.
Soru:what is your mother's telephone number?
Cevap:annemin telefonunu veremem.


soru: selcuklu devletinin kurucusu kimdir?
cevap: imparator birinci selcuk


soru:akıl ile ilgili bir hadis-i şerif yazınız.
cevap:akıllı ol, canımı ye...


soru: kazim karabekir kimdir?
cevap: kazim karabekir askerdir. mustafa pasanin en yakin arkadasidir. londros, mondros ve sivas kongrelerine katilmistir.


soru:dag basini ...... almis,gumus dere durmaz akar" yukarıdaki cumledeki nokta ile gosterilen yere ne yazilmalidir?
cevap:babam


konu: aydınlanma çağı soru: ütopya'nın yazarı kimdir? beklenen
cevap: thomas more cevap: fatih sultan mehmet bir diğer cevap: mona lisa


soru: maki nedir?
cevap: akdenizde yaşan kısa boylu cüceler


muhasebe sınavı
soru: kasa sayımında 100bin tl eksik çıkmıştır. bunu büyük defterde*muhasebeleş tiriniz.
cevap: tekrar sayın, eksik çıkmaması lazım.


soru:ebu suud, yazdığı bütün eserleri ............ .... adlı kitabında toplamıştır." cevap: the best of ebu suud. alınan not: 90.


soru : hz. x 'in tıp bilimi hakkında çıkardığı kitabın adını nedir?
cevap : tubitak-ul-tı bbül-mecit. ..


ilkokul 3. sınıf, sınıfa müfettiş gelmiştir.
soru: isa kimdir?
cevap: geçen sene bizim sınıftaydı, artık gelmiyo.


bir ilkogretim okulunda 4. sinif bilgisayar sinavi:
soru: microsoft word progr***** nasil calistirisiniz? adim adim anlatiniz.
cevap: baslata tiklanir otesi kolaydir.... ..


bir türk dili sınavından soru ve yanıt:
soru: yazara göre toplum içindeki davranişlarimiz nasil olmalidir? nelere dikkat edilmesini öneriyor.
cevap: yazar diyor ki nerde nasil davranacağimizi bilmeliyiz. oturmasini kalkmasini bilmeliyiz. yırtık dondan cikar gibi her lafa atlamamaliyiz.


soru:ülkemizde ilk nüfus sayımı hangi yılda yapılmıştır?
cevap:1927 yılında ikinci mahmut zamanında yapılmıştır. (oha)


soru: calculus'u kim bulmustur?
cevap: adams calculus


soru: ismet inonu'nun batı cephesine bakısı nasıl idi, acıklayınız
cevap:200 metreden durbunle..


milli güvenlik sınavı:
Soru:"rütbeleri artan sıralamada yazın''
cevap: yüzbaşı, binbaşı, albaşı, yarbaşı....




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
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Alt 25.08.11, 07:18   Yukarı Git #5
esra_02
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öğretmen sordu: düğünlerde gelinler neden beyaz giyer bilir misiniz?
bu onların en mutlu günü olduğu için.
arka sıralardan bi ses yükselir:
damatların neden siyah elbise giydiklerini şimdianladım hocam




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:23   Yukarı Git #6
esra_02
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

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bir okula yeni bir din öğretmeni gelmiş. birini kaldırıp:
adın ne?
fatih.
oku bakiyim fatihayı..demiş.çocuk okumuş
adın ne?
kevser demiş.
oku bakıyım kevser suresini demiş. kız okumuş.
çocuğun teki de sıranın arkasına saklanıyormuş, dinci onu da kaldırmış.
adın ne?
yasin ama herkes bana kulhuval der demiş




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:33   Yukarı Git #7
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Ahlak Dersi

Küçük Salamon, okuldan iki gözü iki çesme dönmüstü. Babası, niye
agladigini sorunca hiçkira hiçkira cevap verdi :

- Öğretmen ahlak nedir diye sordu, bilemediğim için bana sifir verdi.

- İyi etmis. Öğreneydin dedi babasi. Gel sana anlatayim, dinle. Mesela, bir müsteri geldi dükkana, mal aldi. Giderken de içi para dolu cüzdanini unuttu. Iste ahlak burada baslar. Bu cüzdani ne yapacagim ? Yalniz kendime mi saklayacağim yoksa ortagimla mı paylaşacağım ?




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:34   Yukarı Git #8
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

Standart


**********

Öğretmenin okulda ki ilk günüydü.Ve öğrencilere şöyle dedi;
-Çocuklar kendini ********** hisseden varsa,ayağa kalksın
demiş
Sınıftan çık çıkmamış ama sonun da bir çocuk ayağa kalkmış öğretmen sor muş
-Oğlum sen kendini **********mı hissediyorsun???
Çocuk
-Hayır ama sadece sizin ayakta kalmanıza gönlüm razı olmadı




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:37   Yukarı Git #9
esra_02
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Mesajlar: 266
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118 mesajına 319 kere teşekkür edildi.

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babam soruyor da..

On yaşında, pek sakin ve uslu bir öğrencidir Yunus. Okuldan çıkış sırasırda gider öğretmeni bulur ve nezaketle sorar:
" öğretmenim, bugün derste ne öğrendiğimizi bana lütfen söyler misiniz? Babam her akşam soruyorda."




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Alt 25.08.11, 07:38   Yukarı Git #10
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Biyoloji Sınavı

Biyoloji dersinden yapılacak sınav için sınıftaki herkez acayip çalışmış, notlar fotokopiler havada uçuşmuş. Daha sonra sınavın yapılacağı gün gitmişler bir de bakmışlar, ortada kağıt kalem yok sadece sıra sıra mikroskoplar.
Hocada başlarında bekliyorken demiş ki, "Bu mikroskaplarda lam'da bir böceğin bacağı var, sınavınız bacağından böceği tanımak"
Tabi hemen itirazlar ama fayda etmemiş, hoca dediği dedik. Öğrenciler mikroskopların başına geçmiş. Ama bir şey yapamıyorlar. En sonunda biri dayanamamış, kapıyı çarpıp çıkmış.
Hoca arkasından seslenmiş "Kimsin ulan sen, kapıyı çarpıp çıkıyorsun?"
Kapı hafifçe aralanmış ve bir bacak uzanmış" Tanısana hadi lan tanısana kim olduğumu"




''Başkalarının alacağından korkmasak hayatımızdan atmak isteyeceğimiz çok şey vardır''
esra_02 isimli Üye şimdilik offline konumundadır   Alıntı ile Cevapla
Cevapla

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Tüm Zamanlar GMT +3 Olarak Ayarlanmış. Şuanki Zaman: Mostbet 08:18.

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