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Fıkra-Komik Yazılar hoşunuza giden fıkra, yazi, vs. gibi bilgileri paylaşa bilirsiniz...

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Alt 21.08.09, 16:17   Yukarı Git #1
.?yLüL.
.?yLüL. - ait Kullanıcı Resmi (Avatar)
Mesajlar: 277
Teşekkürler Teşekkürleri: 10
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Standart BiLgisayar FıkraLarı...


1) Belki çoğunuz duymuşsunuzdur; şu "masa bitti" hikayesini ama bir de duymayanlar için bir de ben anlatıyım. 1994 senesiydi. Bir arkadaşım okula bizi ziyarete gelmişti. Sonra başından geçen bir olayı anlattı. Bunlar bir yere makine vermişler. Verdikleri yerdeki artık köy ağasımıdır bilmem, bu makineyi alan adam yav aldım ama neyin nesi diye merakından makinenin düğmesine basıp açmış. Yanında kimse de yokmuş herhalde. Sonra fareyi farkediyor. Bakıyorki fareyi götürdükçe ekranda bir şeyde hareket ediyor. Bundan sonra butonu farkediyor. Butona basıp bir pencereyi alıp taşımaya başlıyor. Daha sonra masanın kenarına kadar fareyi getiriyor. Ama pencerede daha orta yerde olan pencereyi daha kenara çekmek için masa yetmeyince açıyor telefonu masa bitti ne yapayım...?


2 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yazdığımız programın kursunu veriyorduk. Orada daha hiç bilgisayar görmemiş insanlara program anlatıyorduk. Orda birisi dikkatimizi çekti. Adam fareyi alıyor altındaki yuvarlak topu eliyle oynatıyor sonra yere koyup parmağı ile sinek avlar gibi tak basıyor. Fare kayıyor bir türlü isabet ettiremiyordu. Biz de o sıralar programın testlerini yeni bitirmiştik. Adam yav bu program çalışmıyor deyince bir iki baktım ama program çalışıyor. Ben adamın neden çalıştıramadığını farketmediğimden pek ilgilenmedim. Arkadaşım farketmiş.Ordan bağırıyor: "Mouse'u parmaklamayın avuclayın..."
3 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Şaka maka değil gerçekten olan bir olay. Bir ara daha bilgisayar virüslerinin yeni yeni Türkiyede yaygınlaştığı iyi kötü pek çok kişinin bilgisayar virüsünden haberi olduğu dönemlerdi. Bir devlet dairesinde ekrana çıkan değişik yazıların sebebini sorunca cevap olarak bilgisayarlara virüs bulaştığını öğreniyor. Bilgisayarlar filitlenip (ilaçlanıp) bir hafta kullanıma kapatılıyor.
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Bir ara hangi dergi idi hatırlamıyorum şöyle bir mektubu yayınlamışlardır."Yav programlarda hep "press any key" diye mesaj çıkıyor. Ancak ben klavyede "any" diye bir tuş bulamadım."
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Bilirsiniz BNC network kabloları anten kablosu gibi kablolardır. ****nmemeleri gerekir. Kısa devre olduklarında network çalışmaz. Birileri farketmediği sürece networkün neden göçtüğünü tespit etmek son derece zordur. Birileri duvarda dursun diye bu kabloyu zımbalamış.
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Virüslü disketler olayını pek çoğunuz biliyorsunuzdur. Yine dergilerden birinde şöyle bir mesaj vardı. "Disketin kenarında bir ****k var. Virüs oradan mı giriyor acaba." Başka bir yerde şöyle bir mesaj vardı. "Disketteki virüs bize bulaşırmı.", Bir başkası disketlerini virüslerden korumak için poşetleyip kolonyayla siliyor.
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Gümüşhane'nin birilçesinde kömür ocaklarının bilgisayarı arızalanır. Yaklaşık 200 km kadar öteden binbir güçlükl eve yüksek meblağlarda ücretle bilgisayarcı getirirler. Bilgisayarcı 2-3 saat bilgisayarlabaşbaşa bir odada kalır, bilgisayarı tamir eder. Giderken sorarlar nesi varmış? Cevap: Beynine sinek kaçmış.
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Bir gun bizim muşterilerden birisi ararıyor ve programa giremedigini soyluyor ve biz diyoruzki ekranda ne var hic bişi gozukmuyor dır de bakalım diyorsunuz adam telefonda size dir diyor ) ** birde baska adama dir de diyorsusunuz dir diyor sonra ne oldu diyorsunuz bişi olmuyor diyor bir daha dir de diyorsunuz ne oldu yine bişi yok ekrandakileri oku diyorsunuz adam iki tane yan yana dir yazmıs enter'e basmamıs boyle olaylar.
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İşyerinde yeni mac kullanmaya başlayan bir kadın problemle karşılaşır ve destek birimine telefon eder. Destek birimindeki arkadaş telefonda yardım etmeye çalışır."Mouse ile ekrandaki programın üzerine tıklatın" der. Telefonden gelen ses "Tık Tık" Kadın mouse ile ekranın c***** tıklamıştır.
10 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bundan 3-4 yıl önceydi..Yalvar yakar commodore 64 'ü bir pentium yaptık!!! Neyse bilgisayar geldi , ben babama uzun uzun anlattım ne var ne yok diye...İşte virüs şudur, şöyle girer vs. İşimiz bitti bilgisayarı kapadım.Ve bana dedi ki
-Bilgisayarı örtsene olum virüs mirüs girer.
11 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
İstanbul'da staj yaptığım bir şirkette sattığımız programlar konusunda telefonla da bazen yardımlarda bulunurduk, bir gün Sedat telefonla karşı tarafı yönlendirmektedir. Karşı tarafta onun dediklerini yapar. Sedat şimdi file'a bas der adam tıklar, şimdi edit'e, daha sonra options falan bas dediğinde adam bunları çok güzel bir şekilde anlamaktadır ve yerine getirmektedir, daha sonra Sedat, şimdi de ENTER'e bas der, ekranın başında yaklaşık bir dakika enter arayan dostumuz en sonunda bulamayıp "siz bize enter satmamışsınız!" diyerek haklı tepkisini dile getirir.
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Yeni bilgisayar kullanicilarindan biri, bilgisayar aldigi sirketin ucretsiz danisma hattini arayip soyle bir soru sorar:
-Benim bilgisayarimin bardakligi kirildi da ne yapabilirim?
Karsidaki gorevli:
-Efendim bizim bilgisayarlarimizin orjinalinde bardak altligi falan yok. Belki aldiginiz araci kurumun promosyonudur.
-Ama bilgisayar kasasina bitisikti...
-Allah Allah, bi tarif edermisiniz.
-Bilemiyom ama uzerinde "24x" yaziyordu.
13 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bir arkadaşımdan dinlemiştim. Bilgisayara yeni başlamış birisine telefonla yardımcı olunmaktadır.
Teknik servis elemanı :
- Şimdi bütün pencereleri kapatın.
Müşteri:
- Biraz bekleyin lütfen.
Biraz bekledikten sonra müşteri tekrar telefon başına gelir.
- Evin bütün pencerelerini kapattım. Ancak pencerelerle bilgisayarın ne alakası var anlayamadım.




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Alt 24.08.09, 14:26   Yukarı Git #2
[email protected]
HüLy@ - ait Kullanıcı Resmi (Avatar)
Mesajlar: 29
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Asla birilerinin umudunu kırma, belkide sahip oldukları tek şey o'
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Alt 29.08.09, 15:43   Yukarı Git #3
.?yLüL.
.?yLüL. - ait Kullanıcı Resmi (Avatar)
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20 mesajına 44 kere teşekkür edildi.
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Tüm Zamanlar GMT +3 Olarak Ayarlanmış. Şuanki Zaman: Mostbet 23:35.

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